creative expletives

John Green's tumblr: Cows: The New Rules

fishingboatproceeds:

Driving through west Texas today, Hank and Katherine and I have made some important innovation to the Game of Cows, and we thought you might like to know our rules. (For those who don’t know, the Game of Cows is a road trip game in which you say “cows” when you see more than one cow. It’s very complicated. Oh, also, you can get  points for saying, “dead people” whenever you see more than one grave.)

So here are the new rules we’ve developed, basing the game on quidditch:

Cows are worth 10 points. Dead people are worth 150 points, and whenever someone correctly calls dead people, the game ends. So generally if you see dead people, as when the seeker catches the snitch, you win. But if Katherines has 160 points from cows and I have 0, and I call dead people, the game has ended with her winning.

If you incorrectly call cows or dead people (like, for instance, if you call cows but it turns out they’re horses), your score goes to zero within that game.

You then keep track of your victories and losses over the course of the trip.

So far today katherine has three victories, I have one, and Hank has zero even though he is trying harder than anyone else. (Katherine is at the moment so confident of victory that she is taking a nap.)